Droz-A-Maniacs
Droz's Interview
Projectile vomiter and enormous humanoid Darren Drozdov discusses the basics: fishing, women and vomit
Those who know Darren Drozdov call him "Droz." In person, Droz is laid back, composed, articulate and even somewhat polite. Aside from his appearance, he doesn't seem much like a pro wrestler.
That is, until he gets in the ring. Seems Droz has some crazy chemical reaction to either the bright lights, screaming fans and/or having someone else attacking him. The result is always interesting.
Moody and unpredictable, Droz has been known to attack absolutely anyone in and around the ring, including Federation announcer Kevin Kelly, the Oddities and Steve Blackman. Some say he has lost his mind, other say he never had it to begin with. Whatever the case, deep down, he must be nuts.
Known (and feared) for his signature projectile vomit, Droz hails directly from the Denver Broncos where he was their star defensive tackle, or something like that. It was at a pre-season game against the Miami Dolphins that he discovered his secret bile weapon so naturally, it was off to the WWF. Since joining the Federation, Droz has been accused of selling pain killers to Hawk who is a implied pain killer junkie.
When I asked him about this matter he simply turned to some person walking by and offered them a high five. It was an odd gesture but I soon realized he was ignoring me. Despite his seemingly psychopathic and disgusting tendencies, Droz, like many of the pro wrestlers I've met, is loved by the ladies.
This is what he said:
What's your favorite move?
I'm a big fan of my flying elbow.
What did you think of Wrestling Secrets Exposed?
I never saw it. I heard it was entertaining in a funny sort of way but it really doesn't interest me.
What wrestlers stuff their shorts?
Besides me? I don't know, I haven't been digging around in anybody's shorts so it's hard to say. When I start, I'll letyou know.
How many Big Macs do you think you could eat in one sitting?
I don't really eat that stuff anymore because the grease is hard on my stomach and I'll just puke it up but I used to eat four.
Me too. If you were to take on Arnold Schwarzenegger, Jackie Chan and Mike Tyson at once, who would go down first?
Not me. Arnold probably. Mike's in jail, but Jackie is a different story. He might be tough, although he's only an actor. I love his movies!
What's your most embarrassing WWF moment?
Probably when I tried to puke on somebody but dried up because I'd already used up all my ammo earlier. I couldn't get it up! How's that for an embarrassing moment: "couldn't get it up."
I have to learn this: How do you induce vomiting?
It's just something I can do, can't really explain it. I sort of just swallow my tongue a little bit and it just comes out flying. I threw up on Wade Boggs twice a couple weeks ago. We did a celebrity fundraiser and he was being a funny man pretending he was going to puke on me so I threw up on him once and he sprayed me with a fire extinguisher so I threw up on him again. Wade, if you're reading this, you deserved it.
For the kids at home, what do you eat in order to get the best consistency and texture?
You need a lot of fluids because that's how you get the spray. It's all in the spray. The longest one I've had was a ten footer and I walked it off. It was nasty. Big chunks of meat and rice and lots of water in it. So water's the main thing kids because it sprays really well.
What do you do when you're not puking on others?
Lay around with my girlfriend, hunting, fishing, uh, in that order.
Ever puke on your girl friend?
What!?
Nothing. Are you in touch with your feminine side?
Well yeah, of course. I'm very secure in my sexuality. You want me to give you a kiss? I'm not gay, I'm just very secure in my sexuality. I'll kiss ya.
How did you get into the sports entertainment business?
Well actually, I started playing football and I consider that sports entertainment. I mean people say it's real but, well, I don't know about that. We'll leave that one alone. I started wrestling about 2 years ago after I came out of football. It was something I've always been interested in doing so I looked up the WWF, they were into it and here I am.
What happened to your face? And that's not an insult, I'm referring to your cut?
Oh, I took a knee brace through my cheek. Went to the plastic surgeon and got 20 stitches inside and out. No big deal.
What's the most serious injury you've suffered?
I've had knee surgery, busted ribs, stitches in my head and now my face but I've been pretty lucky so far.
Ok,Who would you most like to face in the ring?
Oh, I just want to face someone for a title. Whoever that may be at the time, I want 'em. My time will come.
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